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Between this and the $300 electricity bill I am fucked. Don't really know what to do. I guess I could just not get my transmission fixed, but dang. :: +Memory :: Tell a Friend :: Reply Gris Grimly Tara McPherson Rob Reger Alicia Leal Ray Caesar
Many keen observers of our representative democracy comment again and again about our broken political system, especially because of the corrupting influence of money on our elected representatives. Too often, the resulting public policy provides benefits to the corporate-military-industr During my many years in elective office, I saw the trade-offs and pay-offs (direct and indirect) that are common in the political arena. I saw how difficult it was – and is – for the most well intentioned elected officials to bring about the needed changes because of our flawed government structure. And, typically, in their attempts to navigate a flawed system, the legislators themselves become flawed. How can we achieve public policy that more closely reflects the public interest? Bring the people – American voters – into a decision-making role in government as citizen-lawmakers in partnership with their elected representatives. The National Initiative for Democracy (NI4D), a legislative proposal that amends the Constitution and provided legislative procedures in a Federal Statute, does just that: empowers citizens (you and I) to be able to vote on the public policies that affect our lives – empowers citizens (us) as lawmakers. I ran for president to bring attention to the National Initiative. As a result:
However, the problem now is that the Obama presidency has generated a renewed optimism that representative government may work this time. Donations have greatly decreased. It will take some time before Americans realize that electing a new cadre of politicians will not bring change. As I said in the campaign: “follow the money if you want to know the kind of government you're going to get.” Wall Street continues to rule the economy, banks are getting most of the stimulus, and the military defense budget grows. The rhetoric of White House policy is considerably improved and sounds cooperative but with one thousand military bases around the world, our nation's policy remains imperialistic, even though we are broke and going the way of all empires. I continued to speak out against these misguided policies and offered the obvious solution: empower American citizens as lawmakers. At a conference on direct democracy, last October in Switzerland, a professor from South Korea heard me speak about the National Initiative and asked if it could be applicable in Korea. My research before and since my subsequent trip to South Korea has convinced me that South Korea is one of the likeliest venues in the world to enact a National Initiative. Democracy is a lot fresher in the minds of Koreans, evidenced by the people’s candlelight protests. They have the highest per capita savings rate in the world, so are the least likely nation to be affected by the global meltdown. Korea is one of the most Internet-wired nations in the world. And English is a mandated educational requirement from kindergarten on. Most significantly, the South Korean Constitution is superior to our own. Article 1 of the Korean Constitution states:“all power emanates from the people” . Only the people can amend the Korean Constitution – they did eight times. The U.S. Constitution has been amended 27 times - not once by the people. American federal elections are conducted by state and local governments and as a result are subject to partisan corruption. The Korean Constitution creates a non-partisan Central Election Management Committee to conduct all elections. Korean citizens enjoy a lifetime voter registration regardless where they live. The host of my initial trip (Korea Democracy Foundation) was not able to extend financial support for my return trip to Korea due to delays in government funding,. Nevertheless, some members of the Foundation and others have facilitated setting up lectures at universities and civic organizations. The title of my lecture says it all: “This Generation of Koreans has a Rendezvous with Destiny.” (Text can be downloaded from www.mikegravel.us) I use the lecture to motivate volunteers from the audience to join teams committed to inform Koreans about the Korean National Initiative (KNI) and to seek its enactment by Korean voters in a national election. KNI is a recast of the American National Initiative. In three weeks starting from scratch, I have been able to develop eight teams with more than sixty members. The quality of the volunteers is awesome. Teams meet weekly and have 5 to10 members; when they acquire more than 10 members, they will replicate themselves into new teams. I personally meet with each of the teams to get them organized. The team strategy is the beginning of a grassroots educational movement to acquaint Koreans about the empowerment opportunity of the National Initiative. I firmly believe we can succeed in enacting the National Initiative in Korea. The global attention generated by this success will become the catalyst to enact the National Initiative in the U.S. The KNI will then become the 21st century national model for direct democracy copied by most G-20 countries. My wife, Whitney, and I are funding my present trip in Korea from our modest personal resources. We cannot continue beyond June, even though my message is resonating with Koreans. The fees, when available, for my lectures do not cover all of my living and travel expenses. It will take at least five months before I can secure the government authority for a foundation in Korea that will then permit us to raise funds from Koreans. The Democracy Foundation (the sponsor of the National Initiative) needs funding to prosecute its programs in the U,S. and to finance my travel expenses until we can do a Korean fund raising campaign. I desperately need your help. Therefore, I am appealing to you – the 8,000 supporters on my Facebook political account, and the 20,000 in the U.S. National Initiative database – to make a donation to keep the National Initiative vision alive. I hope you will respond to this appeal. The situation is critical and the opportunities enormous. I need your help, and I need it now. Thank you in advance and for your help in promoting direct democracy. Follow our progress at www.mikegravel.us and at www.NI4D.US. P.S. To donate by Internet or snail mail copy the following - URL - into your browser. It will take you to a secure site for your tax deductible donation. https://demofound.org/dona Thank you. Sincerely, Mike Gravel
The British didn't care about the Americas until the 1700s when they realized the amount of money potential there. Then they started imposing taxes. A new cultural identity was brewing in colonial America. The religious sects were very individualistic and supported education resulting in a higher literacy rate in the Americas, especially in New England. The printing press contributed to higher literacy rates. How would daily contact with people from other cultures (ie Indians) shape their perspective? Governmental figures and merchants would interact with them daily. Push-pull factor is what pushed people out of England, Germany, etc. and pulled people into the Americas. Germany wasn't unified and had a lot of taxes. There were more push factors in these countries. England, with the Stewarts in power, had very bad conditions of living. Baltimore was a haven for Catholics. For the Dutch there weren't enough push or pull factors for them. The had one of the best navys, economies, etc. What about the French? There weren't enough pull factors. Sure, the push factors were there (bad living conditions). Canada is where they (the French) thrived. They treated the Indians better than the British, but the Indians played the Brits against the French by knowing that they had common goals (furs, money, etc.). So they picked and choiced their gifts from both sides to the point were they relied on things from both sides. They thrived for 100 years about. French-Indian War aka the Seven Years' War of North America (1754-1763): English settlers were encrouching on French land, like Louisiana and New France. The British won. The POW Indians were let go which pissed off Indian soldiers. The now free POWs were killed and ties were severed ties French. James Wolfe and Montcalm. George Washington failed to take Ft. Dequesne in present day Pittsburgh. William Penn was a quaker and named Pennsylvania for religious toleration. He turned out to be a greedy, slave-owning hipocrit. The Pennsylvannia Dutch weren't really Dutch. They were German. The few "Dutch" colonies actually had people from other countries. They were very progressive, like the New Netherlands which spanned all across the Atlantic states in small areas including a faux New Sweden to attempt to take down the monopolize the trading company. Apparently, they had awesome benefits for women. William Moraley was a lazy indentured servant. He never cared about the future and therefore missed out on a lot of opportunities. He was an SDS kid of the time, living off inheritance and tricked into servitude. He was shipped to Philadelphia to work with a watch maker. After 3 years he ran away from his master. The mayor tried to let him off because of his background. So he was done after a couple months. After that he just couchsurfed around America until he moved back with his mom who got remarried. Why did this person write a book? Only priviledged people have time to write books. The validity of his autobiography has been questioned due to some of the incongruent facts. It seems to be more of a man's tale. Benjamin Franklin was a indentured servant, but his account is a stark contrast from Moraley's. I mop the floors. I rake. I sign up for twitter. I am sitting on the couch. I pass on an opportunity to go do something outdoorsy. I sleep in until 11 am and go to sleep at 11:30 pm. I'm listening to Twilight audiobook. I never thought I would get sucked in, but vampires and lust are two of my faves, especially in the high school context. The new CPG office is large and in charge. I am very proud of it.. This fall, much like the others, was filled with almost-changes to my life. At least I have a steady job at CPG. It's not salary, but I like it. I am a two-hatted monster. I do bookkeeping and research. Alex and I are closer than ever really. We can go on days together without contact from the outside world. This doesn't seem healthly, but it's fun. Lots of Little Britain, X-files, and Twilight. I can't wait for more stimulation. DVD's are addictive and fun. Need to be more active. I really liked belly dancing though. “The girl I’m dating right now is the daughter of a girl I used to date. She likes me and she likes to piss off her mom. My daughter, on the other hand, knows both of them and is livid. My other daughter is completely disgusted and doesn’t think I should date at all…" Talk about the stock market and colonoscopy... "I am staying at the Paris hotel in Las Vegas this weekend. I’m hoping to not leave my hotel room very much." Talk about old people in nursing homes. "We think that the guy that owns our building is a little flicky so we are going to go ahead and buy the mortgage. They’d probably like the injection of cash.”
I just got kicked out of the children's library because I don't have a child with me. Apparently, that is their policy to keep pediphiles out of the area. I choose the seat because it had the best natural lighting and I have already passed the clerk a few times so I kept walking that way not to seem like a bumbing idiot. Maybe I should donate to the library. I wish I would have been better educated on the amendent, which was worded backwards, before I voted. Here comes the next election. Have to look up the local government. Today I dropped off my bikes at LocoMotion in Baldwin Park with is just across the street from Brita's apartment. It's this Pleasantville type town with new-old houses and pedestrian streets everywhere. Definitely a place I want to go bike riding around. Next week starts off with my new and improved spinning routine. It will be annoying running into all those acqaintances I have accumulated over the years at UCF, but I have to do what I have to do to get healthy. Besides, I don't know what my other options are. I feel like I'm scattered all over town. There's school to work at and exercise, but the parking sucks. Then there's waterford, or avalon park, but that might be too much money. I miss people from the HC, but I know what their Friday night agenda is and I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel in general. I need all the energy I can get. I would like to start up my blog about how orlando doesn't suck that bad. For now this is me being creative and wacky, wonderfully wacky. I feel the fat choking my little neck. I need to lose weight pronto. How do I deceive it? Oh what maybe I shouldn't eat so much processed sugar and fat? "I don't hate you. I just think you're a flake." He spoke the truth. Phone calls aren't my favorite thing to do and then when I procrastinate about calling someone I feel like it has been too long and I just shouldn't call. You may rest calling just to chat with someone you didn't develop that relationship with. This is kind of what it's like with Andy. When he lived her we just called each other to established times and dates to meet up. The catching up or seeing how his day is going was reserved for email or facebook. "I am a flake. I have to do better." How many times have people told me, "You have to do better"? When I am depressed and moody and lash out on ours by making them feel as if they did something wrong, I have to do better. Now that we live 4 hours apart I have to do better than facebook, but what if my calls are annoying now that he has a girlfriend. He'll know how awkward it is when you are with your significant other and you get a call from an old friend. You don't want to take the call and rudely ignore your s.o. Even though Alex and I are together all the time, that is how I feel. Now that I am back from this crazy summer, I finally have those few minutes to myself to call people and check up on them. Instead of being a flake I took Alex with me to visit Paula in Hollywood last week. Since then I have called her twice, once on her birthday today. Work friends are another group of people I have to try hard to continue contact with. (Kreg, Teresa, Nnenia, Gessica, Tia) These are people I want to know or a very long time. It's too bad that this atmosphere isn't like Germany where everyone rotates inviting people over in order to continually hang out. Oh, and the worst case of flake. Kelly lives next door to me and I haven't seen her yet. I have to do better. At least tonight I will go to the movies with Sarah and Brita. :) Most of my time is spent on facebook, email, and film review websites. I guess I mostly use the internet to network, keep in touch, and look up movie times. I went to a flea market in Illingen during Kirmes and found a copper painting of the virgin mary for 4 euros. Then we got a set of wine glasses and shot glasses for 4 euros. The wine glasses are traditional for the Moselle River region.
I finished it this morning because after putting up with the repetitive language that gave the book it's voice I actually like it. I identified with how the character thought everything was depressing even though he thought everything was depressing from an upper class standpoint, like when his roommate had crumby suitcases he that that was sad. I was almost positive that the character was going to kill himself even though I learned in creative writing 101 that the narrator shouldn't kill himself. So the whole self-destructive and pessimistic time was for nothing. It was just an account of a miserable teenage boy. I don't know why it's so popular. Maybe for 1945 it was very edgy to tip-toe around depression. but nowadays we want to know details not just suggestions. The voice was still kind of enjoyable despite the redundant phrases, "it killed me." (What does that mean? Did it make him sad, happy, angry, or make him laugh?) I should try to tell a story in such a conversational manner, but that would be the longest monologue ever. Maybe different voices would be helpful. I guess I'll read another Joyce Carol Oates book. I didn't bring enough book and I have a very limited selection at Alex's house. What do Alex's cousins think about us? There's Torbin and Isabel. T is a soccer superstar and I is just a plain jane working girl. Their parents like to smoke and have a good time and seem to support T in all his soccer bullshit. But what do they think about these Americans? I wonder if they even like the idea of Americans. I mean our soccer players aren't that famous to my knowledge. I also think Isabel is into rap music, but it could be lame ass German rap music that "assis" listen to. She seems pretty cool at any rate. She's laid back, but T isn't as friendly.
Alex is probably going to say that I sound hypocritical, but I go on cheap trips because I'm poor. I think 3rd world countries are interesting, but I still wouldn't want to become a Haitian or a Sr Lankan. I have been dreaming a lot here. I dreamed that my mother's round, taunt belly was in fact a time capsule where she kept all her memories and when he died the memories would escape her and her body would deflate, like physically de-stressing her. I wonder what like of memories are inside her belly. Maybe happy memories make her so plump, like the day she had her first child and relief that Ray was okay after being suffocated by the umbilical cord. Maybe it was the moment that she could finally be herself once my father died and she moved in with Cassie. Maybe it was more like eating candy instead of going to school in Cuba. But what if instead there are bad memories just lingering inside her. It could be that the pain of being alone and betrayed my her husband and the father of her children has left a bleeding ulcer. Or the hernia in her stomach that pops out when she flexes her belly is actually memory of selling 3 properties while taking care of a newborn when Pop went to jail for 6 months before even telling anyone. The scars on her belly could be from a fast tummy tuck in the 80's to hide the money that shouldn't have been there or it could have been the scars of what she just can't come out and say to her family. Her mother might die sooner if she knew the whole truth, but then again maybe she already knows; she does live next store. All these memories bottled up inside her could be jolly and wonderful, but I have a feeling that they are eating her up inside. Now I would like to turn that into a poem. Ich bleibe in seinem Haus. (Ich bleibe bei Alex.) Ich liebe ihn. Wir sehen "My So-Called Life." Wir sind ins Kino gegehen. Wir mögen das Kino. Ich kann jeden tag Filme schauen.
After a while I got over the author's witty jokes and complaints because it seemed like she was over-exaggerating the situation or using the same points over and over. However, the chapters were short and mostly humorous so I think I would recommend this as a bathroom book or a book to tae while getting your hair done. It will make you laugh out loud. Now I'm reading a super BA book, Ceremony, by Leslie Marmon Silko. It's about a Laguna Pueblo Indian fighting in WW2 and gets captured by the Japanese. So far it is filled with magical realism and poetry (stories) told by the Laguna Pueblo Indians. --- I also wanted to mention some really breathtaking paintings I saw in the Trier Museum on Wednesday. Although the staff didn't advice me against taking photos, I still didn't want to just in case it would somehow damage the oil paintings. Instead I jotted down the names and expected to find them online. I WAS WRONG. Apparently, these artists were not very well known, or at least not these paintings. Louis Counet (1652-1721): I believe he was a Flemish painter. The painting I enjoyed was Der Heilige Laurentius Tauft Lucillus im Kerker. In this painting the story about an early Christian, Lauentius, that was imprisoned by the Romans and was so dedicated that he kept believing even while in jail. His faith inspired others and the painting shows him baptizing a Roman prisoner, Lucillus. Here is another rendition of this story. This isn't the Counet piece though. :( This is by Hans Bornemann and is an altar in St. Nicholas Church in Lüneburg, Germany.  The other artist that I really enjoyed was Gerard De Lairesse, a dutch painter and student to Counet. His painting the Faunfamilie mixed the domestic and the whimsical wonderfully. In the foreground was the faun mother and child and in the background there were centaurs working. Lairesse painted during the end of Dutch realism and at the beginning of classicism. He created decorations for many homes in Amsterdam and considered himself a theaterist because he always wanted all elements of a scene in his paintings, which I appreciated. As I said before I couldn't find this painting, but here is how weird he looked.
The humble humor was also refreshening. When Kyle first moved to Raleigh she was so surprised about how nice the landlords were and how cheap her cottage was and then after signing the lease she realized the house was behind a prison. Oh how I laughed at that messed up situation. Every night before bed she would her the guards and buzzers announcing lock-down time. All and all, the writer didn't go country so I find the title misleading. The ending was a bit anticlimactic concluding with writing this book. Lame, but I did enjoy that in the end she didn't end up with her best friend and she didn't settle for just any guy. She found being alone comforting. I think that is something I had to do, even if it was to the smallest degree, before entering a relationship. The last week was a world wind of traveling to countries I have never even seen pictures of like the Czech Republic and Slovakia. Salzburg was wonderfully beautiful and quaint unlike the never-ending Vienna, which was a fast-paced, hustle bustle land. The summer's travels are not yet finished. Alex and I are still going to Trier, Luxembourg City, Heidelberg, Metz, and Saarbrücken. PIctures and details can be found at our travel blog: hermes-hemorrhoids.blogspot.com Tschüss! At the promotion party Alex and I mostly hung out with Anika, who is super cool. She didn't even mind when I had a mini-scene after my camera won't focus during the group picture. We made our own version of memory and went for a walk into Illigen where Hannelore lives and has her store. Alex's other cousins, Isabel and Torben, didn;t come with us. I guess they were too enamored with Alex's brother and his girlfriend. After dark I got some good pictures with my tripod of the siblings: Peter-Alexander, Owe, Andrea, and Jens. I think all them where both smoking and drinking. hah. The next day after Ilka's birthday, we went with Anika to get spaghetti ice cream that is made similar to play-doh spaghetti. It was really delicious. The Eurocup was going on while we were there and once we were home again we knew that Germany had been defeated. It was a sad day for the trashy people down the street that watch soccer in their garage and have at least five Deutschland flags on their car. We know where you are from. You are in Germany dumb ass. Today I finished Rape: A Love Story by Joyce Carol Oates. At first I really didn't like her style that goes back and forth from different points of view and at times avoids narrating the most action-packed part, the rape. Later I learned to appreciate it and even identified with the different types of love that came out in the story. The daughter of the rape victim LOVES the officer that helps them. She wonders if the men that raped her mother LOVE her in a weird obsessed way. The victim doesn't speak to her boyfriend after the attack and eventually he has to let her go because he LOVES her. It was a bizarre little book that I would recommend, especially if you live Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Tomorrow we leave for Dresden and begin our week-long trip. Alex wants to start a separate blog for that... on blogger.
I just finished reading The Bell Jar. The first time I had seen or heard mention of this book was in middle school; Danielle Vitale was reading it. Until now I have only read Plath's poetry here and there. My second-semester English teacher was really enamored with her, as well as Gummo and some other trashy stuff. Next I'm reading Joyce Carol Oates's Rape: A Love Story. Wild flowers sway in the wild on either side of the rocky path and bales of hay are all over the fields like some country painting. The hill-view of the neighboring villages are grand, despite the steel factory's big white smoke. A few different trucks drive down the road, but they actually didn't give me any trouble. I went past where Alex and I first went yesterday t look at the lake briefly and even passed an entire field of wild flowers. These are the typle of yellow daisies and lily-colored flowers that we pay big bucks for in the states. There are even roses growing wild. I didn't even know they grew wild really-just alongside some industrial road. I felt absolutely happy to be up at 7am and being active outside in this perfect 70-something degree weather. Oma was raised in a house down the street where Christa, her sister now lives. Next to that is Annika's house where Oma's mother was born. In summary that is the original home where Alex's and Annika's great-great grandmother lived, making them like 3rd cousins. Needless to say that their families have been living here for a very long time. Annika's house was built in 1908 I believe and was renovated in the 1970s. Everything is wood and gorgeous. Alex's house is huge with about 4 proper rooms, but the basement could house a Haitian family. The backyard or the back of the estate has a playhouse cabin, strawberry plants, a little garden Alex has attempted to keep up, a HEN HOUSE (without any hens), a PARTY CABIN with a bar, and lots of trees. This party cabin hasn't been used in about ten years, but apparently in it's hay day it was the spot for three-day parties. Pictures are going to all be on facebook because I don't want to insert them in a million places. For today: I have to call my Mom and let her know I'm alive and ask her about the baby. We have to wait for the luggage that US Airways lost when they rebooked me on Lufthansa due to the weather that delayed my first connecting flight. We just went grocery shopping down the street at the local grocery store. There were so many sweets and meats! mmm. We bought some bacon sausage there that is amazing. As soon as I get my bag with my sneaks I'm off to exercising. My goals include: doing a pilsner listen a day and blogging my little heart out. Tschüss! I have myself been having haunting dreams. Yesterday ay Karol's house, I woke up from a nap terrified because in my dream I had just left the hospital with my tiny newborn-baby. I took it home and lied it done in it's clean little cradle. It started crying and I rocked with it, but it won't stop and started to burn up with a fever. I gave it baby tylenol and waited to see if it helped. It didn't and I left to take it to the clinic (the health center). The hole time I was contemplating which provider to take it to: Cronyn or Deichen? I was panicked and then I noticed that she started to get cold I knew she was dead and I woke up afraid. Then I went home and watched "Finding Amanda: with Matthew Broderick. I really recommend it. During that sleep I had a dream that I found out I was pregnant - something ridiculous like 8 months pregnant. After the initial sock and breaking it to my mom, I started thinking. Oh my god: I had been drinking. I had taken birth control pills for a few weeks. I am on my period. Does this mean I miscarried? The child is going to be retarded. I cried to my mom that I wanted an abortion because it was fair to a child to have such a dumb mom. SHe explained to me that it was illegal to get an abortion that late. I woke up from disbelief of this crazy situation. Damn it. I forgot to bring a converter. Alex must have one because he has been using his lap top. Alright. Only two and a half more hours until my plane leaves for Frankfurt - direct flight. It's funny how Alex has this dream of us living in the countryside of England while he goes to school for Museum studies and I write. Do you think I would go insane or really successful? I still have a few writer connections - DJ, Liz, Mike, MEB, etc., as well as Joanna. I could definitely have these people be my community, but being overseas might just suck. This year is Christmas in Germany, next year is definitely Christmas in MIAMI! Beach holiday baby. He better be prepared to use his degree in NYC while I go pursue some sick (as in cool) career. Medical/PA school seems more feasible to me: I have to take CHM2, Org 1/2, PHY2, Physiology, and possibly microbiology & biochem. That's it! That's only 4 semesters. I might be able to take these classes in England (University of Leicester) while Alex is studying. If we stay in Florida then I could do this from May 2009-August2010 and then retake the GRE for a better score or take the MCAT. I can't believe he was willing to do long distance for a year. That would be fucked up. Only 18 hours until my lecture exam and 25 until my lab exam. Better get to studying. I already made a mini studyguide and practice diagrams to study with, but Iknow I just have to memorize the slides. This girl said that not sleeping your usual amount actually makes you retain 40% less material! I'm actually really enjoying this studying/working out thing I have going on with the ladies. They rock. There's blood in my mouth 'cause i've been biting my tongue all week. I keep on talking trash, but i never say anything. And the talking leads to touching, And the touching leads to sex, And then there is no mystery left. And it's bad news, baby i'm bad news I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news I know i'm alone if i'm with or without you, But just being around you offers me another form of relief When the lonliness leads to bad dreams, And the bad dreams lead me to calling you, And i call you and say "c'mere!" And it's bad news, baby i'm bad news I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news And it's bad news,baby it's bad news It's just bad news, bad news, bad news 'Cause you're just damage control For a walking corpse like me, Like you, 'Cause we'll all be portions for foxes. Yeah, we'll all be portions for foxes. There's a pretty young thing in front of you And she's real pretty, and she's real into you And then she's sleepin'inside of you. And the talking leads to touching, then the touching leads to sex And then there is no mystery left. And it's bad news. I don't blame you, I do the same thing. I get lonely too. And you're bad news; my friends tell me to leave you, That you're bad news, bad news, bad news You're bad news,baby you're bad news And you're bad news, baby you're bad news And you're bad news I don't care i like you And you're bad news I don't care i like you I like you God I wish I wrote that because it's me. I'm just broken and I always needed someone broken too. At least I got to see my new friend Sarah at the Townhouse. My new lab buddies are awesome. They are laughs and smile which I love. Now I"m watching Bridget Jones' Diary for the millionth time because I needed a Colin Firth dose. Alex doesn't get why girls like him, but I have to admit there is just something about him. He was very sexy in "Then She Found Me-" highly recommended. I should probably go get dinner and study. MPH in Global Health Practice... Peacecorps program. It's optional. http://health.usf.edu/publichealth/Glob Thank goodness that there are only 50 minutes left of the workday because you know what the stomach holds when there is no food inside it? GAS! My anatomy class has also taught me that the abdominal pain I have are probably radiating from the jejeudum part of my small intestines. Dr. Samsam is pretty funny/cuet when he does his imitation of the fallopian tubes with his arms sticking out and his wrists limp like the infundibulum holding the ovary. He said that we would all be mini-doctors by the end of his class, but I am practically failing so I guess I am a nurse. I am sitting at work. My head is propped, supported by a coke bottle. I'm too depressed to even raise my head. Just a few things to do left" go to lab and learn some shit and then go home and clean house Niecy Nash style. Life is so funny like that; it can go in so many different directions. If I would have started at Denny's after high school, who knows if I would be a manager by now. "Hello folks. How many? Right this way." "Your server is Meagan and she'll be right with you." "Hello. I'm Meagan. Can I get you anything to drink?" "Alrighty. Do you need a few more minutes to look over the menu?" "Okay I'll be right back with your drinks." "Unsweetened Ice tea, diet coke, and ornage juice. Have you decided?" "I will go ahead and put the order up for you. Just let me knwo if I can get you anything else." Plus, I love the wacky uniform! This weekend is hard to describe. On the one hand I slept A LOT. On the other hand, my family was the furthest thing from perfect. I hate to victimize a grown man when he isn't trying his hardest, but my brother was just lying in bed unable to do anything because his life is literally crumbling on top of him. The baby is about to be born (Alexandra) and she is going straight to Ibis's sister's house because of the MAJOR mold problem at the house. During those first few weeks Ray has taken off work to clean and get the house ready for the roofers and the mold cleaning. There is an especially bad spot in the clost that is about 3 feet long and black. Ibis shouldn't even be in the house, but they have just waited too long to take care of stuff. Ray is really just sick with anxiety and worry. The money is just not stretching enough this time. Ibis has been fired from her sucky ass job, so she is looking and has to start as soon as the baby pops out because my brother only makes $13.50 an hour. He couldn't believe that I make less. It would be a dream (Ray agreed) if I could work for CPG part or even full-time because it pays well and it's pretty mindless. I could use all my other energy towards something else. Im not sure as to what that something else is at the moment (probably finishing up my thesis is a good idea.) Just ran into Joe. He just makes me smile. He was my co-GA that one fall. He says that they are now doing a full tuition waiver and offer health insurance. Not a bad deal I suppose. If I ever go back for another masters maybe I should do that. Actually, I need to look into the MS in Health Sciences. All I need to do is have a part-time job that makes 2-3K a month. That's not that bad, right? If I work for CPG at $20 an hour and work $30 a week I could achieve that goal I think. Big black horse and a cherry tree?
It must have been this weekend when Sarah, Teresa, Kreg, and I went to St. Augustine to go "camping." The cabin was more like a 5-star hotel and it was within walking distance from the pool and the beach. After going around town looking for a bar that Sarah could get into, Sarah passed out on the futon. Teresa, Kreg, and I continued to drink and drink until we decided to go to the beach and the hot tub. After going back and forth to the cabin for refills, we ended up at the hot tub at 4:30am. I immediately saw two people in the hot tub and assumed that the were having sex. Teresa was leading the group and went straight for the pool and got in. Kreg and I both thought, "oh no, now we can't leave." Nothing happened for a few minutes and then we started hearing moaning and splashing. Of course, I was on the side of the pool facing the hot tub and could see how the man had the woman pinned on the wall separating the tub from the pool. I could not contain my laughter. I had to go underwater and exhale all my laughter while swimming across the pool. These two people clearly knew that we were in the pool and didn't care. Since the hot tub was in the center of the pool we couldn't move from the corner in the deep end. Teresa and I clenched onto the railing in order to not to drown. After an hour of this sexing in tub, We all go into the hot tub. Kreg still insists that Teresa and me got pregnant. Now I want to go to cosmetology school. It only costs 6-10K. I just feel like it would be more practical than anything I learned in college. That is sad considering that I'll probably have close to 24K in loans by the time that I'm done. Beauty school would actually give me something to show for it. Some Movies: I have been watching Netflix online for days and have found some real gems. "Arranged" is about two new school teachers. One woman is an orthodox Jew and the other woman is Muslim. Both of them are in the process of getting arranged marriages and find friendship with eachother despite their culture differences. The plot was whatever, but the chracter development and the great amount of information about the two religions was interesting. Despite growing up around thousands of Jews, I didn't really know that orthodox culture was so different. This French movie called, "Mi Vie en Rose," was about a little boy that was certain he was a little girl. This was unusual because the mother was ok with it and the father furious, like unusual, but THEN the mother gets fed up and actually blames the boy for everything that is going wrong in the family's life. It wasn't until the boy moves with his granny and finds a butch girl that the problem seems to disipate. LIE: The long Island Expressway. Apparently, there are some thug kids in long island in the midst of all the rich people. This movie started out normal; it is about a kid that gets in with the wrong crowd and starts stealing, but by the end of the movie there's an old guy that sucks little boys' dicks and the main character's dad goes to jail for money laundering. The whole scene/plot gets turned upside down and it's just sad. Priceless: I went to go see this Audrey Tutou movie with Alex in Miami. It was a hilarious pretty woman reversal. The prostitute thats the hard worker under her wing and teaches him the trade. Next time I need to discuss the nature of this summer. I'm not sad or depressed. Actually, I am having a fabulous day filled with lots of free netflix instant movie watching and napping in the most comfortable bed in perfect temperature. I love days like these, but then I just feel guilty for not getting anything done. I wish I had plans for memorial day, like a bbq. Too bad I went negative about 5 times and gave all my money to the bank. I didn't take my anti-depressants today so I am very paranoid that I'll crash and become ultra moody. Maybe I should do yoga. Instead I'll just do this for two more days and study a little on the side. All I need to do keep watching movies and get my hands on some chocolate. I should really do some spinning tomorrow. Alex going to Germany and leaving me here feels like when America won their independence from England and relished in independence, but then became overpopulated and corrupt. Except I iwll not be corrupted. I am actually over that. I resist temptation. Maybe it's more like when Haiti received Independence from France even earlier than the Dominican republic, but hasn't been able to have a stable government since the colonists left. Alex is my colonist and I am his native meganimal. Now I am left to my own interests and entertainment. This means I am going to watch many many episodes of SVU. As for this weekend I have a camping trip planned. Teresa keeps saying that she is very excited about the trip, but I fear that she is just saying that. For some reason I really want her approval. I hope she is just a happy-go-lucky person. Her presence, as well as Sarah's, makes working at the Health Center a easy experience. Nnenia Paula Cassie Chatting online when I was in middle school was like an episode of SVU or To Catch a Predator. Melanie, my best friend at the time, and I would sit in the den for hours without any parental supervision chatting and lying about our ages. We made ourselves 16 instead of 12 and talked dirty to a bunch of old perves. We didn't know how to give a hand job so we searched for instructions on yahoo so we could describe it to them. I remember that crazy site and still use some of the techniques. Thankfully we never met any of the perverted chat room friends. My first sn was megadita. Cassie, my mom's partner, always used to call me this when she thought I was being cute. I call it my first sn, but I still use it today. Periodically I have to clear out the buddy list because there all kind of random people on it: girls that liked my boyfriends in high school, myspace friends that I met and got creeped out by, and just others I don't want to talk to. I have met many people offline, but I don't know if meeting any of these people was worth it. Sometimes it's hard having friends, especially when they are work friends like my current group. I wonder if we would be friends if we didn't sit next to each other for 20+ hours a week. Most embarassing momment is today's writer's block topic. Usually I can't think of one, but after this event I don't think I'll ever forget an answer to this question. It was a day over winter break that I was particularly depressed. It wasn't because my grandmother died on christmas because nobody like her and it wasn't holiday time grieving; it was just the mood I was in that year. I drive to Aventura mall to the Urban Outfitters and wanted to steal some stuff. I didn't see a censor on the panties so I stuffed a few in my purse. As I was walking out confidently the detector went off and the guy that worked there pointed to my oversized purse. I lowered my head and pulled them out. The guy was so nice and asked if I would like to buy them. He wasn't even mean about it, just sincerely curious. I said no and handed them to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was alright probably because I was about to cry. I nodded and walked out crying. After balling in the bathroom, I went to Littman's jewelers and bought a 3200 dollar engagement ring. Getting caught was embarassing, but boy did I feel crunchy when I found out that my boyfriend/fiance couldn't help me pay for it.
Kate Nash: "Foundations" Skunk Anansie: "Secretly" Celia Cruz: "Rie, llora" Alex says, "But he got his computer stolen." Mein Po juckt vom sitzen lange bei der Arbeit aber ich habe eine Stunde bevor die Arbeit endet. Days that don't have an overarching goal are hard for me. If I have nothing to get done, I don't get anything done if that isn't obvious enough. The ominous cloud of the future is hanging is much I try to run for shelter I have to face the fact that I don't have an umbrella. In addition to this fear and hesitation for the future, I have the partner that will not stop complaining. We both complain all day and it gets old after a while. Nothing is ever good enough; it can even be too good. Some facts: I am going to Europe for 6 weeks this summer and 4 weeks this winter. l will have a MA in May 2009. I want to move out of Florida for just a few years to see what it's like. If I experience two winters I doubt it will kill me. 40 minutes later: Crap. I just ate a piece of Publix Cake. There goes my dinner. I just want to sleep all afternoon. Maybe I'll go to Karol's and nap in her awesome guest bed. May 9: Woah. Livejournal has this neat function that restoresany entry that you didn't save. Today at work is an MMR clinic. This means that all the people returning to college in the middle of their lives need to come in and get either vaccinated or re-vaccinated for the measles, mumps, and rubella because they are too old to keep track of their records. Apparently entering a new school must be very overwhelming because they are all assholes. This man this morning paced up and down the window sweating and yelling and just being gross. For these people I am obnoxiously nice. "Welcome to UCF. Congratulations on your acceptance. What will you be studying?" GRIN. I can't wait until the day that HPV vaccines are mandatory too. The only problem is the immense cost of these vaccines. The government should definitely pay for these because we'll end up for paying for the treatment of these contagious illnesses if they aren't eradicated. Last night Alex and I started to assemble Bill's new office in Avalon. Working with my hands and making something beautiful made me feel great and accomplished. I wish I could go to Ikea and buy furnisher for my own home, but since I can't why not do it for other people. I'm glad I don't have to go to work at 7:30am EVERY MORNING. (Just Tuesdays and Fridays). Alex's birthday is in less than 2 weeks and we have no idea what he wants to do. On a Friday night he turns 21, so maybe we should go to a bar around midnight. Maybe we should go to a strip club or something like that. What things can you do when you're 21 that you can't do before that? This is what I'm going to suggest. We vacuumed and mopped and now the house is the cleanest since it was built (Alex is very proud of that statement since he did most of the work). The cats are happy and I'm happy. Now we'll see how my diet is going tomorrow, the weigh-in challenge day. The hero of the day: Mop and Glow. Baby Mama was funny in the way that it used stereotypes about low socioeconomic white people (white trash). There needs to be more movies about dignified poor white people/poor people in general. I mean the poor people I know hide it very well. They dress nicely and their appearance is always very neat. When I went to Haiti the POOR village I visited had some of the poorest people I have ever seen, but the women all still all wore skirts and had their hair perfectly brushed. |
